How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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