I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
