I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
