Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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