did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
