I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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