so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
