Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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