I wanna passion pit in your ass
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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