I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
