I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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