Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Randomize
