"it" just moved
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
