I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
