Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
high people should be assigned attendants
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I will pee on everything he values.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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