worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
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JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
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I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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