So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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