i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
