Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
