Its about making memories worth repressing
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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