please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
