she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So here I am, sexting at work.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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