That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He passed out mid-signature
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
