i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
