All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I need moral support for this bender
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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