somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
