Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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