Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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