Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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