I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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