Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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