one two three fourrrrnication!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
