i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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