I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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