Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
