i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
