everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I stole a fireplace last night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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