Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
