The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
