She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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