Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
