I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
