Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
