You're completely useless in the revolution.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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