'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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