it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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