She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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