By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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