all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
