i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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