whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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