There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
