I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
