Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
