I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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