dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
