I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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