I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
