Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
