I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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