Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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