something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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