thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
