Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
