I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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