so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
