i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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