We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
