I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I can't turn off my feet"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
