is your mom at the bar?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm both gender and math confused
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
