After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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