Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I love you.
Bad choice
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
